How to bust through blocks that are holding you back
Posted on February 21, 2021
I sat at the front of the class. The meditation I had led was over. Everyone started to open their eyes and they were now looking at me. I didn’t know what to do next. I hadn’t been dismissed or given further direction. So we sat there. Me at the front of the room, the rest of the class and my teachers on their mats and blocks – with their eyes on me.
I took deep breaths as the discomfort grew loud in the quiet, dimly lit room. It felt like hours were passing when in reality it was probably only a minute or so. Finally, my teacher broke her silence. “How does it feel to be seen?” she asked.
Tears filled my eyes as the gravity of the previous two years came crashing down around me. All the walls I built up, all the armor I adorned myself in, burying myself alive with all of the shame and guilt I had accepted as mine to carry for eternity. All of that protection was stripped away with one simple question.
How does it feel to be seen?
After years of trying to hide, I was exposed. The raw, open wounds of my shame lay open for these women to see. Shame that I could barely manage to glance at myself was now on display for twelve other humans that at this point I hardly knew.
“Hard” I finally managed to choke out. It felt a giant exhale, that admission. A moment of surrender to the truth that I can’t spend the rest of my life in hiding. I can’t stop living life as a response to the death of one relationship. We sat there longer softly nodding to each other. In that silent gesture she offered to shine a light into my darkness and help me navigate my way back into my own light. I accepted the invitation.
Over the course of the next few months I started peeling back layer after layer, uncovering the root cause of why feeling seen felt so painful. What I have been discovering since that day is that hiding helps me feel safe, but not fulfilled. Hiding keeps me in my comfort zone where there is no room for risk or growth. I have a burning desire to expand, but the fear surrounding so many aspects of my life keeps me prisoner – locked away from thriving in my own world.
The Reality of Hiding
While I’ve taken great strides in healing some of the deep wounds I was experiencing back then, I continue to uncover more ways that I’ve been hiding.
For instance, when I started this blog it took me a couple of months after creating it to hit publish, a couple more months after that to let my friends & family on social media know that I had even created it, and then probably 4 or 5 more months after that until I started sharing any of the content within my posts on social media!
Why did it take me so long to start sharing? Although I was filled with big goals, I was also filled with fear of what my friends, family, and acquaintances might think of the things I have to say. Would they judge me if I were honest about my story, things I’ve experienced, or ideas I believe in? Would they think I’m too cheesy, emotional, or stupid? All of that fear kept me paralyzed. And if it had continued to do so, you probably wouldn’t be here reading this right now.
“Acknowledging what’s stuck and telling the truth about where you’ve been wearing a mask opens up new energy to flow in the present.”
Baron Baptiste – Being of Power
Where are you hiding?
So I ask you, where are you hiding? Take an inventory of all areas of your life you can think of and ask yourself if you’re hiding in some way. Look for areas where you feel stuck, or stagnant. Are you feeling burnt out or lacking inner peace? These are some hints that you’re probably resisting something. And that resistance is a good indicator that there is something blocking you from expressing who you truly are.
Now that you’ve acknowledged that block (or blocks) exists, accept it for what it is. And what it is is not a definition of who you are or who you’re not. It is simply a piece of data to be explored.
What do I mean by that? Well, I recently uncovered another block in myself. I realized that the clothes I was choosing to wear were not reflective of how I want to show up in the world. The outfits I was putting on were very basic with little to no accessories.
Did this mean I had no style? Definitely not. While there is nothing wrong with dressing like this, it didn’t feel like me. It felt like I was dressing with the intention of climbing back into bed at any moment and hiding under the covers. But, the dreams I have swirling around inside me are too big to have time to be climbing back in bed every day!
So after I recognized the block for what it is, I started visualizing my future and how I would feel if I were that future version of myself. Then, I started to explore, “What does THAT girl wear?” which helped me re-align to my style.
[Learn more about my soul style journey: Grow With The Flow: Let Go Of The Old To Show Up As The Most Authentic You]
Explore Being Seen
Your blocks are probably different than mine, but the same method can be applied. Take that block and start to visualize your future. How would your life be different if that block no longer was in your way? Journal about how you would feel and how you would show up in the world. How do you take care of yourself or your environment? How do you interact with others?
And then – and this is probably the hardest part – take action. Do one thing today that aligns with that future version of you. The version of you where you’re bursting with joy and confidence and passion. Do something that person would do. For me, today, it was making this video to accompany this article.
I want to point something out to you. By taking action, you actually become that version of yourself today. The future is here, and you are allowing yourself to be seen.
So, how does it feel to be seen?
While preparing for this article, I read through my notes from my Yoga Teacher Training. On one of the last pages was a journal entry that opened with the question, “What if I let my light shine?” and I think that might be the more important question. What kind of possibilities are available to you by being seen? What kind of incredible impact can you have on the world if you weren’t afraid to step out of your comfort zone and let your voice be heard?
So go ahead and ask yourself how it feels to be seen, that's the first step. Dig in to where you are hiding and why. But, don’t forget to challenge yourself to go all in and start showing up confidently as the person you are meant to be. The world needs the gifts you have to give.
I ended that journal entry with these words, and I’ll end this in the same way:
My light is bright and meant to shine.
Let's stay in touch! Find me on Instagram, or send me an email!