Just let go. People throw this phrase around all the time as if it's as easy as tossing a penny into a wishing well. Maybe for some, it is. But, I’m willing to bet that for most of us it's not quite that easy.
Letting go of a thought, thing, situation, or person when there is emotion wrapped up in it can be so difficult – it may feel almost impossible.
I learn to let go time and time again. Every time a new challenge arises I resist the discomfort of it initially – it’s like a reflex. Once I become aware of how the situation is no longer serving me, I make a conscious decision to surrender to it – to let it go.
Let Go of Things That Hold Old Energy
I recently started working with Amanda, a Soul Stylist (find her on Instagram here!). One of the pieces of homework she gave me was to go through my wardrobe and get rid of the pieces I no longer wear – the things that do not represent who I am becoming.
As soon as I started digging in to my closet, I immediately found a few things that I would be adding to my donation pile. I’ve had a bunch of dress pants taking up space in my closet for years. I haven’t had to wear dress pants to work in probably seven years, but I’ve kept them around just in case I decided to change jobs and needed a pair again.
However, the more I thought about this reasoning, the sillier it seemed. I’ve set a goal for myself to build my own business and be in a position to work from home. When I become my own boss there are no dress pants needed! So, if my goal is to never wear dress pants again, why was I holding on to them?
This decision was made unconsciously out of fear and lack of confidence in myself. By holding on to these things that represent a lack of confidence in my career goals, I was unknowingly hanging on to that belief and it was taking up, not just space in my closet, but it was also using too much of my energy.
As I continued exploring my wardrobe, I came across pieces I barely ever wore, or that never fit quite right. These were more easy decisions to toss into the donation pile.
Let Go of The Past
But then I came to the section of my closet which housed all the adorable skin tight, super short dresses I used to rock in my early to mid-twenties. These are outfits that, at the time, made me feel extremely confident, but no longer feel like an accurate representation of me.
I wore these outfits to go out dancing with my best girls, to go see my ex's band play, and to go to the concerts of my favorite artists. I used to stay up late exerting endless amounts of energy making amazing memories with my favorite people while wrapped up in these garments.
Then I moved away. And then I got divorced. And while those decisions ended up being the most life-giving decisions I’ve ever made, I still get nostalgic about those amazing times of the past.
The divorce also came with a heavy helping of shame. I turned inward for a few years, afraid and ashamed to be seen. The years following came with a lot of growth – a lot of both learning & unlearning. Through that healing, I birthed a new level of confidence. I could feel it and I could perform it on occasion, but I was still missing a piece. I hadn’t figured out how to wear it.
This was the real reason I was still holding on to these outfits. It wasn’t because I wanted to wear them again someday, or that I wished I could go back to “the good old days.” These clothes represented a time when the confidence on the outside matched the confidence on the inside. They were a shrine to a time in my life when I wasn’t afraid to show up in the world as my most authentic self – which is a feeling I have been craving.
How Can I Show Up As My Most Authentic Self?
So I’ve been meditating on that. How can I show up as my most authentic self? Discovering my soul style has played a huge part in this, for sure. But, the deeper answer that keeps slapping me in the face is simply, “Let go, let go, let go.” Not just of old clothes, but let go of wishing I were further along on my journey. Let go of beating myself up about where I am at this moment, let go of self-defeating beliefs, let go of how I think the world wants me to be, let go of trying to control the future.
Surrender to the flow.
It’s so hard, the surrendering. But you know what I’ve found to be even harder? Holding on to all those things that aren't serving me. The holding on to old, worn-out ideas, relationships, energies, clothes – it's so heavy. And it is a choice made from a place of fear. The letting go – the surrendering – is freeing. It is as light as a feather. THAT choice comes from a place of trust, a place of love. That space is an invitation to show up as your authentic self.
How Are You Showing Up?
I’m willing to bet you could identify at least one thing right now that you know is not serving you – that is keeping you from showing up authentically – but you continue to hold on to. Take a moment to explore that thing. Pull out your journal for ten or fifteen minutes and follow one (or more) of the below prompts. Challenge yourself to keep writing after your initial answer comes up. Don’t be afraid to go deeper!
- What fear is keeping me tied to this thing/belief/relationship?
- In what ways am I benefitting from this thing/belief/relationship? In what ways am I suffering?
- If I didn’t have (or believe in) _____ anymore, what would happen? How would I feel?
So, how do you feel? Continue to explore this thing, don’t rush. Feel all you need to feel. Heal all you need to heal. And when you’re done feeling and healing (you will know when – trust yourself), surrender. Let go. Accept the invitation to flow into a new way of being and show up in the world as your authentic self. If you need some extra support, let me know!
My goal for the new year is to keep surrendering to the flow – letting go of what no longer serves me, and releasing control of all the things I never actually had control over in the first place. This will be a practice – something I will consciously have to choose again and again and again. I hope you’ll join me in this practice of going with the flow! Join me over on Instagram where we can grow and flow together!
